We've all been there. The feeling of excitement as a splash of colour accompanies an excited television advertisement for a low-cost airline. "All flights less than twenty dollars! (Sale ends in 3 minutes)"
For me, the purchase of airline tickets is comparable to the purchase of shoes by a kept housewife. The only difference between the two is that sadly, I don't have a sugar-daddy to foot the bill. The promise of adventures to come are my motivation for staying employed. Currently, I have two interstate weekends booked, all the result of 'too-good-to-resist' airline sales. I wouldn't have it any other way.
Nowadays, there are more flight choices than I can count. Airlines of the world have sprung up, luxurious seats that fully recline, personal televisions, massaging chairs and even an on-board shower spa offered with a first-class ticket on Emirates.
At the other end of the scale are the airlines that I am far more familiar with. These are the brands that frequent the discussion forums, passengers disgusted with reliability, punctuality, service and catering. These are the bone-shakers that feel as if they have been sellotaped together and piloted by a monkey on LSD. These are the airlines that charge a base price so low it "can't be true!", then upon booking you realise it isn't: credit card fees, booking fees, check-in fees and baggage fees all combine to slightly more than the GDP of Greece (too soon?).
The phenomenon of low-cost airlines was described rather poetically by Fascinating Aida (kindly pointed out to me by my favourite Auntie Jen)
Having spent a bit of time travelling through Europe on the pride of Irish air service, it doesn't take a rocket scientist to realise the carrier of focus, Ryanair. Headed up by a feisty Irishman named Michael O'Leary, there is a wide range of flights available, however travelling with Ryanair leaves a lot to be desired. In fact, the Business Insider in 2010 found Ryanair to be the winner of the Worst Airline award: http://www.businessinsider.com/worst-airlines-in-the-world-2010-12#1-ryanair-10
The booking process when considering Ryanair for a European getaway is as follows:
1. Jump on the website www.ryanair.com and determine your destination of choice. This will usually be accompanied by gasps of surprise at how cheap they are!
2. Tell all your friends and gather some travel buddies. Spend a considerable amount of time discussing what you will spend your time doing while away, and may or may not encompass the contacting of relatives to arrange accommodation if possible.
3. Excitement is paramount, so get back on the computer to book the flight! This is an enormous process in itself:
Step 1: The super-cheap price is not available on the day you have arranged to return, so you shrug your shoulders and pay a few extra dollars for the flight on the correct day.
Step 2: You don't have a European passport, so you pay an extra 10 pounds for airport check-in. Each way. But it's ok, the base flight was only 15 pound to start with, right?!
Step 3: You realise that the airports servicing Ryanair flights are a tad further out from the city than you realise. Ok, a lot further out. But Ryanair is an enterprising company and there is a shuttle to take you the two hours to the city for only 30 pounds each way. Bargain!
Step 4: You decline priority boarding, a rental car, a donation to charity, carbon offset, hotel accommodation and checked baggage (all of which incur substantial fees), and proceed to the final step. By this time, the original 30 pound return flight is nearly 100 pounds and it's not even booked yet! But you've already arranged it with all your friends, and you bought that bikini last week in the hope of a chance to use it...
Step 5: Handing over your credit card details, the website enthusiastically bleats the 10 pound (per flight) credit card charge. At this point, you cross yourself, press the 'Purchase' button, and hope your credit card has enough available funds to cover it. You've come too far to back out now...
Easy, huh?!
But all the steps I've described above pale in comparison to the actual flight. The morning of departure, you wake up promptly at 2am, just in time to catch a 2 hour bus to the middle-of-nowhere airport that Ryanair inevitably operates out of. You finish cramming 10 days of luggage into a carry-on bag, as you have skipped the checked baggage to save money. The alternative to the stupendously early wake-up is to sleep at the airport. I've done this a number of times, and if I can impart but one piece of advice it is to take earplugs and an eye mask. You'll need them.
Arriving at the airport, the surly check-in clerk weighs and measures your carry-on bag. "Oh dear, it appears to be 1.75892 kg over the weight limit. I'm afraid you're going to have to throw away some possessions". Leaving the queue, you adorn yourself with every available garment and return to the desk looking like an inflated marshmallow. The bag is now within the allowed limit, and you receive a hand-written boarding pass. Oh, and did I mention that all your duty-free purchases must also fit into the carry-on bag, without exceeding the weight/size limits!
Ryanair considering charging for the use of the toilets. I personally would rather wet myself than pay a pound for a wee in a 2 square foot cupboard.
Arriving at the "destination", a fanfare blasts throughout the cabin and proclaims loudly that Ryanair is the most punctual airline in Europe. This I assume, is because they forgo pesky additions to the aircraft such as emergency fuel and life jackets...Disembarking, you realise that you are in fact in the middle of nowhere (and usually in the middle of the night). But fear not, the Ryanair shuttle will have you amongst civilisation in a jiffy! (Or in approximately 2.5 hours).
Despite all the flaws of flying with such an enigmatic airline, Ryanair has allowed me to see much of the world for a relatively low price. It is a great friend of every student in Europe, and should I find myself in need of a quick weekend away on the continent, I would not hesitate to book on the blue and yellow bird again. What could possibly go wrong?!
Blue skies,
Ez
About Me
- Ezza
- A wise Australian tells us she was "born to try". I would like to say that I was "born to experience" A Kiwi trapped in the vast untamed wilderness of downtown Melbourne, Australia. I live a life of with drop-bears, hungry sharks and as much weekend skydiving as I can cram in. I am one half of a trans-Tasman relationship with the best friend I have ever known. He brings out my crazy, and I drag him over the globe.
Thursday, 26 January 2012
Monday, 16 January 2012
Why are we still debating this?
The answer should be obvious. Any sane, logical person would think so. Yet there are so many minority opinions throughout the world held and upheld by the less sane and logical of those among us (yes thanks, my high horse is very comfortable tonight!).
This entry is dedicated to illuminating some of the world issues I feel are completely redundant, yet for some inexplicable reason humans are still arguing about them. Mind you, this is also just my opinion...feel free to argue and prove me right!
1. The Earth is flat
Today there exists still a Flat Earth Society, run by a fellow by the name of Daniel Shenton: http://theflatearthsociety.org/cms/
According to the Flat Earthies, the world is shaped like a disk, with the North Pole at the centre and Antarctica at the edge. There is also a rim of 'something' to hold in the water. The continents are arranged around the North Pole (and very close to the pole if you look at some of the supposed pictures of the planet. Amazingly, Shenton does believe that the sun and the moon are spherical, but very small. He also denies the existence of gravity completely.
The website contains some very well-worded and convincing arguments about why classic circumnavigation is in fact a small concentric circle around the centre of the planet disk, and some very read-worthy conspiracy theories, focusing mainly on the "faked" space exploration expeditions.
My disbelief in the debate of this issue does not come from the fact that somebody has the ability to dismiss overwhelming scientific evidence, more from the notion that the society now has over 9,000 members worldwide. To believe that the Earth is flat requires one to believe that NASA (and all other space agencies) have fabricated each and every photograph of the Earth from space. It requires complete denial of long-haul international travel distances, gravity, the moon landing (and all associated footage) and the true route of circumnavigation voyages. Heaven forbid also that a person should look out of the window of a plane and see the natural curvature of the horizon...
Historic physicists can easily be forgiven for thinking that the Earth is the shape of a pancake, however it is my opinion that it is an obsolete debate.
2. It's for research!
Every summer, the Japanese ships venture into the Southern Ocean off the coasts of Australia and New Zealand to catch a quota of whales on behalf of the Institute of Cetacean Research. This has been permitted by the International Whaling Commission, (and I imagine many Japanese restaurant owners are also strong supporters) amid heavy criticism.
The reason I feel that this should be a non-debate is due to the fact that not one single peer-reviewed research paper has been published by the Institute, despite harpooning as many as 1000 whales in a season. The views of the majority seem to be that the operation is a barely-disguised commercial whaling venture, and year after year the Greenpeace vessels of Australia and New Zealand avidly protest against the presence of the whaling ships. I recall watching one such campaign on the news one evening. A crewman on one of the protest vessels held up a sign saying 'would you like some soy sauce on your research?!'
I am very much opposed to the so-called research whaling venture carried out by the Japanese, and I do not believe for one moment that there is any worthwhile scientific investigation taking place at the Institute. With the number of whales they have brutally killed, they should know everything there is to know about the species. The practise should be banned, leave our whales alone!
3. "I don't get hangovers"
You're obviously not drinking enough. Try a couple of bottles of cheap white wine on a hot day. Don't worry about dinner, it'll slow you down.
There are many more topics of debate on this wide wonky (and most likely spherical) Earth, they keep the discussion boards on news websites growing on a daily basis. Some are more complex, however there are a few I feel could be shovelled into the 'Already Done' pile to let people move onto real topics. Like: 'What makes a polar bear left-handed?'
Blue skies,
-E
This entry is dedicated to illuminating some of the world issues I feel are completely redundant, yet for some inexplicable reason humans are still arguing about them. Mind you, this is also just my opinion...feel free to argue and prove me right!
1. The Earth is flat
According to the Flat Earthies, the world is shaped like a disk, with the North Pole at the centre and Antarctica at the edge. There is also a rim of 'something' to hold in the water. The continents are arranged around the North Pole (and very close to the pole if you look at some of the supposed pictures of the planet. Amazingly, Shenton does believe that the sun and the moon are spherical, but very small. He also denies the existence of gravity completely.
The website contains some very well-worded and convincing arguments about why classic circumnavigation is in fact a small concentric circle around the centre of the planet disk, and some very read-worthy conspiracy theories, focusing mainly on the "faked" space exploration expeditions.
My disbelief in the debate of this issue does not come from the fact that somebody has the ability to dismiss overwhelming scientific evidence, more from the notion that the society now has over 9,000 members worldwide. To believe that the Earth is flat requires one to believe that NASA (and all other space agencies) have fabricated each and every photograph of the Earth from space. It requires complete denial of long-haul international travel distances, gravity, the moon landing (and all associated footage) and the true route of circumnavigation voyages. Heaven forbid also that a person should look out of the window of a plane and see the natural curvature of the horizon...
Historic physicists can easily be forgiven for thinking that the Earth is the shape of a pancake, however it is my opinion that it is an obsolete debate.
2. It's for research!
Every summer, the Japanese ships venture into the Southern Ocean off the coasts of Australia and New Zealand to catch a quota of whales on behalf of the Institute of Cetacean Research. This has been permitted by the International Whaling Commission, (and I imagine many Japanese restaurant owners are also strong supporters) amid heavy criticism.
The reason I feel that this should be a non-debate is due to the fact that not one single peer-reviewed research paper has been published by the Institute, despite harpooning as many as 1000 whales in a season. The views of the majority seem to be that the operation is a barely-disguised commercial whaling venture, and year after year the Greenpeace vessels of Australia and New Zealand avidly protest against the presence of the whaling ships. I recall watching one such campaign on the news one evening. A crewman on one of the protest vessels held up a sign saying 'would you like some soy sauce on your research?!'
I am very much opposed to the so-called research whaling venture carried out by the Japanese, and I do not believe for one moment that there is any worthwhile scientific investigation taking place at the Institute. With the number of whales they have brutally killed, they should know everything there is to know about the species. The practise should be banned, leave our whales alone!
3. "I don't get hangovers"
You're obviously not drinking enough. Try a couple of bottles of cheap white wine on a hot day. Don't worry about dinner, it'll slow you down.
There are many more topics of debate on this wide wonky (and most likely spherical) Earth, they keep the discussion boards on news websites growing on a daily basis. Some are more complex, however there are a few I feel could be shovelled into the 'Already Done' pile to let people move onto real topics. Like: 'What makes a polar bear left-handed?'
Blue skies,
-E
Saturday, 14 January 2012
When in Rome...
Eat some pizza.
Contrary to the snazzy title, this entry is not in any part about Italy, but is instead about tradition and the way some of our quirky customs dictate our actions.
Tradition exists in every society, every town, every family and within each of us individually. Ask the majority of 4-12 year old children about the meaning of Christmas Day and overwhelmingly the answer will be "presents", "lollies" or "Santa". Conveniently, December 25th is when a good number of people around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus (the actual date of his birth was unlikely to be the 25th of December, but the December date fits nicely into the end-of-year school holidays).
The actual date of birth differs immensely, from the 6th of January to the 14th of May, depending on which book you read.
While a practising Christian may retain the meaning and true tradition of Christmas celebrations, a consumer-focused and somewhat less spiritual nature has crept into the day. A few days before Christmas I had the misfortune to visit Northlands (pronounced "Norflands" by many of those who frequent it), the local shopping centre, in an attempt to purchase a new iPod. As I walked through the gleaming aisles stuffed to bursting with festive goodies, the spirit of Christmas was apparent. It was apparent in the impatient crowds of people running into the ankles of geriatrics with overstuffed shopping trolleys and young children testing their lungs and the eardrums of those surrounding them as temptation proved overwhelming.
Approaching the foodcourt a marvellous specimen of a nuclear family was creating an environment of acute disharmony. As is required for residents of Preston, Melbourne, she was elegantly dressed in dirty trackpants and bare feet while he had donned his cleanest VB singlet for the family outing. Three young children in tow, the spirit of Christmas appeared to have overcome them as they screamed abuse and profanities at each other with wild abandon:
"You f&%$#n b$#@h! Look what you've done!"
"Go f&@k yourself you f#@%$&n b%$#@&d!"
As they argued, bemused shoppers gave them a wide berth and each other knowing looks. For me, it was the last straw. I abandoned my quest for an iPod and returned to the sanctity of my office. Merry Christmas, Melbourne.
Christmas 2011 for me took place in the North Island of New Zealand. My boyfriend and I travelled over a few days early, borrowed a campervan from a friend in Kerikeri and took our time winding through the countryside to the Coromandel Peninsula. Christmas Day was spent at the beach house (bach) of a relative in Pauanui and was attended by a few family members including my Mother and Grandmother. For the first time since I have been able to legally and dexterously (sometimes) drink from a beer bottle, I attended a Christmas Day church service with my religious Grandmother.
Church for some people is a weekly tradition. I can generally count at least 52 weeks between each visit as the services tend to coincide with my trips to the DZ to go skydiving. This year's service reminded me of all the other services I have ever been to. A preacher is not as fun as a stand-up comedian to listen to. Along with all the under-10s in the congregation who had been allowed to open just one present before Church and who were now itching to get home and attack the rest, I found the characteristic fidgeting and mind-wandering took hold remarkably quickly. A very well-to-do woman sitting in front of me with her neatly pressed husband made a show of telling her pew neighbours that "I tried to wake everyone up to come this morning, but they were all far more interested in sleeping in". "But they're not religious you know, not like us". Oh dear.
The remainder of our trip was spent dodging raindrops, no mean feat in a torrential downpour. A solid week of bad weather taught us that a country full of adventure sports does not cater particularly well in the rain. We managed to keep ourselves occupied with underwater massages, rock-climbing, caving, tubing and about 40 hours of driving with very sub-standard windscreen wiper blades. On one day we went to the beach in full-length 7mm wetsuits. Oh, and 6 litres of duty-free liquor helped to soften the blow...
Christmas is not the only tradition worthy of mention, not by a landslide. There happen to be some excellent past-times throughout this wonderful Earth, many of them with fascinating histories and innovative celebrations.
One of the best traditions I had the good luck to encounter whilst living in Scotland as a student was the wearing of kilts for ceremonial occasions (and busking). Especially when combined with bagpipes, the most intruding musical instruments imaginable, I fell in love with the idea of wearing what is essentially a skirt in one of the coldest and most mountainous countries in the world. The image of a bekilted bagpiper belting out the 'Bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond' while loping through thistle-coated moorlands with no underwear is a fantastic spectacle:
Pure dead brilliant!
Another amazing tradition I have discovered during long hours of procrastination on YouTube is the annual Gloucestorshire Cheese Rolling competition:
See the video below for an example of the sport:
The attendance at this event has been added to my Bucket List as a matter of priority. Amazing!
Despite the best attempts by the PC brigade, there are still a good number of wacky and interesting traditions worldwide. It is important to learn and adhere to certain traditions, while others seem to exist purely for our own amusement or to get a few days a year off work. This diverse planet contains a wealth of experiences, and I intend to find out and try as many of them as possible.
Blue skies,
-E
Contrary to the snazzy title, this entry is not in any part about Italy, but is instead about tradition and the way some of our quirky customs dictate our actions.
Tradition exists in every society, every town, every family and within each of us individually. Ask the majority of 4-12 year old children about the meaning of Christmas Day and overwhelmingly the answer will be "presents", "lollies" or "Santa". Conveniently, December 25th is when a good number of people around the world celebrate the birth of Jesus (the actual date of his birth was unlikely to be the 25th of December, but the December date fits nicely into the end-of-year school holidays).
While a practising Christian may retain the meaning and true tradition of Christmas celebrations, a consumer-focused and somewhat less spiritual nature has crept into the day. A few days before Christmas I had the misfortune to visit Northlands (pronounced "Norflands" by many of those who frequent it), the local shopping centre, in an attempt to purchase a new iPod. As I walked through the gleaming aisles stuffed to bursting with festive goodies, the spirit of Christmas was apparent. It was apparent in the impatient crowds of people running into the ankles of geriatrics with overstuffed shopping trolleys and young children testing their lungs and the eardrums of those surrounding them as temptation proved overwhelming.
Approaching the foodcourt a marvellous specimen of a nuclear family was creating an environment of acute disharmony. As is required for residents of Preston, Melbourne, she was elegantly dressed in dirty trackpants and bare feet while he had donned his cleanest VB singlet for the family outing. Three young children in tow, the spirit of Christmas appeared to have overcome them as they screamed abuse and profanities at each other with wild abandon:
"You f&%$#n b$#@h! Look what you've done!"
"Go f&@k yourself you f#@%$&n b%$#@&d!"
As they argued, bemused shoppers gave them a wide berth and each other knowing looks. For me, it was the last straw. I abandoned my quest for an iPod and returned to the sanctity of my office. Merry Christmas, Melbourne.
Christmas 2011 for me took place in the North Island of New Zealand. My boyfriend and I travelled over a few days early, borrowed a campervan from a friend in Kerikeri and took our time winding through the countryside to the Coromandel Peninsula. Christmas Day was spent at the beach house (bach) of a relative in Pauanui and was attended by a few family members including my Mother and Grandmother. For the first time since I have been able to legally and dexterously (sometimes) drink from a beer bottle, I attended a Christmas Day church service with my religious Grandmother.
Church for some people is a weekly tradition. I can generally count at least 52 weeks between each visit as the services tend to coincide with my trips to the DZ to go skydiving. This year's service reminded me of all the other services I have ever been to. A preacher is not as fun as a stand-up comedian to listen to. Along with all the under-10s in the congregation who had been allowed to open just one present before Church and who were now itching to get home and attack the rest, I found the characteristic fidgeting and mind-wandering took hold remarkably quickly. A very well-to-do woman sitting in front of me with her neatly pressed husband made a show of telling her pew neighbours that "I tried to wake everyone up to come this morning, but they were all far more interested in sleeping in". "But they're not religious you know, not like us". Oh dear.
The remainder of our trip was spent dodging raindrops, no mean feat in a torrential downpour. A solid week of bad weather taught us that a country full of adventure sports does not cater particularly well in the rain. We managed to keep ourselves occupied with underwater massages, rock-climbing, caving, tubing and about 40 hours of driving with very sub-standard windscreen wiper blades. On one day we went to the beach in full-length 7mm wetsuits. Oh, and 6 litres of duty-free liquor helped to soften the blow...
Christmas is not the only tradition worthy of mention, not by a landslide. There happen to be some excellent past-times throughout this wonderful Earth, many of them with fascinating histories and innovative celebrations.
One of the best traditions I had the good luck to encounter whilst living in Scotland as a student was the wearing of kilts for ceremonial occasions (and busking). Especially when combined with bagpipes, the most intruding musical instruments imaginable, I fell in love with the idea of wearing what is essentially a skirt in one of the coldest and most mountainous countries in the world. The image of a bekilted bagpiper belting out the 'Bonny bonny banks of Loch Lomond' while loping through thistle-coated moorlands with no underwear is a fantastic spectacle:
Another amazing tradition I have discovered during long hours of procrastination on YouTube is the annual Gloucestorshire Cheese Rolling competition:
See the video below for an example of the sport:
The attendance at this event has been added to my Bucket List as a matter of priority. Amazing!
Despite the best attempts by the PC brigade, there are still a good number of wacky and interesting traditions worldwide. It is important to learn and adhere to certain traditions, while others seem to exist purely for our own amusement or to get a few days a year off work. This diverse planet contains a wealth of experiences, and I intend to find out and try as many of them as possible.
Blue skies,
-E
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