Horoscope 10 - Leo

Not to be confused with DiCaprio, Leo the lion is the sign of those born between July 23rd and August 22nd.

Writing this horoscope series has been a good eye-opener for me of just how many variables there are for each and every action that we take, and it has made me more convinced that each and every decision that we make has a minutely detailed effect on our lives.  Using the planetary alignment to predict each of these would be nigh impossible.


Nonetheless, I have been getting into the swing of compiling each star sign and am now on the home stretch.  For the Leo horoscope, keep reading:

• It's going to be windy tomorrow.  Don't wear anything too floaty.
• Turn on the radio, quick!  Your favourite song is about to play.
• Next time you travel by air, take a sippy water bottle.  If you don't, turbulence will strike during the meal time and you'll cover your lap in wine/coffee (or both).
• Your long-lost Uncle Babu in Nigeria has recently passed on, and has left you his $10,000,000,000 USD fortune!  All you need to do to claim it is send a verification payment of $680 to the following Western Union bank account...
• As a third-generation westerner, it's slightly odd that you have an Uncle in Nigeria.
• There are two broken eggs in the carton in the fridge.
• Iron a work shirt this evening.  Otherwise you'll sleep in tomorrow and have to wear a crinkly one.  This in turn will make your boss think that you didn't make it home last night.
• Best place for you to meet people of the opposite sex?  Weddings.  Free grog + a romantic mood can only end well.
• Don't eat that chicken sandwich, it's been around for far too long.
• Unhappy at work?  Now's the time to make a break for something else.  Try becoming a dive instructor.
• Make sure all incriminating objects are out of the public areas of your house - you will be getting surprise visitors this week.
• A good way to stop smoking is to take up a very expensive but very addictive hobby on the side (I suggest skydiving). This way, you have to make the choice between smoking and your rent/mortgage.  Don't choose the smokes!
• Go rock climbing this weekend.  It's a good way to pick up singles when you need a 'belay buddy'.
• Chop up your credit card this Christmas, avoid the shopping centres and save for something you've always wanted to do.
• Your mechanic is going to try and rip you off during your next car service.  Take it somewhere else.
• Don't have the 'do you want to have babies?' talk with your significant other while you're drunk.  It will not end well...
• If you buy your boss a Christmas present this year, the brown-nose brownie points will not be worth the endless mocking from your workmates.
• Go to a bookshop for a quiet browse.  Paper is still better than an iPad.

Blue skies,

-E