Horoscope 8 - Gemini

Two-thirds of the way to the end of this horoscope schimozzle, and the eighth of the series features Gemini - the twins.

Born between May 21 and June 20, my initial thought for all those bearing the Gemini sign would be to eliminate the other twin and save on groceries...but there is more to a horoscope than supermarket prices so I shall press on:

• Take a frisbee to the park and rediscover the outdoors.
• Your sunglasses are going to break tomorrow, make sure you get a spare pair.
• Good weather is best viewed from under a parachute.
• Make sure your computer cable is out of the lounge this evening or your pets/children will eat through it.
• Your boss is going to be in a good mood next week - try asking for a payrise.
• Don't eat a hamburger in January, the mystery meat will contain pieces of plastic.
• Make sure your washing is pegged a good distance from the ground this weekend; dogs enjoy a challenge almost as much as a game of tug-of-war.
• Your nail polish isn't dry.  Don't touch it to find out.
• I warned you!
• Starting a DIY project at home before March will involve a an emergency call to a builder and a red face.
• Don't step backwards, the toothpaste is on the ground.
• Visit a country you've never been to before.
• Having stacks of accrued leave makes you feel like top dog at work, sure, but your workmates who take regular holidays are enjoying life far more.
• Get petrol on the way home, or you'll get stuck in a traffic jam.
• Trying to pick up?  Join a university events club.
• Your jacket has a rip in the sleeve.  Roll them up for the casual chic look.
• Your first ever mix tape is in the back of a cupboard in the kitchen.  It's worth a listen.
• Make a batch of scones.  They are a wholesome and delicious way to embrace your inner nanna (and not in a creepy way).
• Pick a worthwhile charity and donate a few dollars every once in a while.  It will give you a sense of being able to help and the karma is always welcome.
• The vitamins you are taking are just creating expensive wee.  Try some fish oil and a load of vegetables instead.
• Your relatives are going to get into an argument this Christmas about who is fetching the drinks.  Avoid this by taking your own private bottle of vodka.
• Tell someone you love them this weekend.  Mean it.
• Never see a clairvoyant, everything they tell you will be a pack of lies!

Happy Tuesday,

-E